It will probably come as no surprise to learn that in my college career, I was an English major. I got started on that track back in the second grade after winning a young author's contest at my elementary school, with my story, "Mike the Boy, and Lucky the Dog." It was a damn good story, and my prize, if I remember correctly, was getting to eat a McDonald's Big Mac with the other Young Author winners from the other grades. It was a true meeting of the minds. Since that prize, and the acknowledgement of my gifts, the clarity and innocence of my mind, my writing, and my reading have been obliterated. Way too much information—much of it conflicting—has proved to be damaging; way too many words have been soaked in, in way too little a space. No tome has done more damage to both my esteem and sense of writing rights and wrongs as has Geoffrey Chaucer's The Canterbury Tales, of which I took an entire college course on, and dedicated months of my life. In short, his "English" language is not my English language, and I can safely say that other than seeing some medieval English words on a few beer labels and hearing plenty in The Lord of the Rings, throughout my lifetime, all the studying of Chaucer and his writing has been for naught, a complete waste of time.
Until now.
Imagine my glee upon seeing the release of Teenage Engineering's EP-1320 Medieval, their electronic music medieval sampler/groove box, on my desk for review. My life has been lute-deficient for a while now, and while I still hold a grudge for being duped into taking that class, as a penance for the social pressure to go to college in the first place, I now commit my payback to you, Gentle Reader, by utilizing my learned skills as best I can, where they pertain to Chaucer's words, by writing this review in Medieval English*. You…you made me this way.
Right fro th' very first, a'd in keeping with all things TE, th' packaging is quitæ nice, æ lovely brúnne box adorned with æ flutæ playing pixiæ entertaining æ sampler toting monk on th' box. Theræ bæ somæ unreadablæ words on th' back ophe th' box, somæ FCC legal typæ stuff in plain English. Yæ can only takæ æ themæ so far, I guess. Theræ is no sensæ ophe humour wheræ legalesæ is concerned. æ helpful, cheat sheet is included to get you started, a'd oncæ you power up (viæ USB or with 4 x aaæ batteries) a'd movæ th' Ignito switch to turn th' machinæ on, you aræ off to th' tavern. Or th' merry party. Or wherever peoplæ went in thosæ days to carousæ a'd play music. Probably th' fairæ.
If Medieval looks kindæ sortæ familiar, that's becausæ it's basically ain EP-133 KO II with somæ different flair; it's all medeival'ed out. Th' LED text hath ain almost arabic genie-in-a-bottlæ scripty look to it, which I guess heræ is kindæ renaissance-y, a'd th' overall screen play is pretty fun as well, with th' aforementioned electronic music making monk, somæ light up castlæ icons, a'd other era-appropriatæ iconography. th' playing field is various shades ophe brúnne, gray, whitæ a'd red, with medieval words a'd letters throughout. Other attributes on Medieval follow suit a'd aræ quirky, fun, a'd maybe even a tad silly. There's æ built in speaker so you can put Medieval on thou haunches, cruisæ th' hood on your pony, a'd creep out th' neighborhood kids with tunes fro yonder, a'd tales fro th' crypt.
On top ophe th' way it looks, it also deviates æ littlæ fro th' original in terms ophe its internals. Theræ is 96 MB ophe included sounds with 32 MB ophe spacæ to storæ user created ones, effects (lovingly called "Pocus"...I love it!) likæ reverb, distortion, filter cutoff/res, a'd likæ th' TE's linæ ophe Pocket Operators, theræ aræ punch-in Pocus effects likæ tremolo, stutter, muting, etc., that can bæ played in real timæ as æ pattern is being played. This sort ophe fixed effect playability is also found on th' other POs, a'd adds æ nicæ amount ophe flexibility a'd fun here.
th' real question you'ræ probably asking yourself is what is ain instrument stuffed with medieval eræ sounds good for? Good question. Whilæ you'ræ probably not going to throw hurdy gurdy samples all over your new dancæ track (although…), a'd æ bangin' Sword Scrapæ (yep, th' namæ ophe onæ ophe th' included samples) lead, whilæ interesting, probably won't work well for your "Switched on Hildegard" LP, Medieval hath æ lot ophe potential. As for th' hundreds ophe included samples, quitæ æ few, such as th' drones a'd hurdy gurdy aræ potentially quitæ useful and interestingly beautiful, though theræ aræ somæ bizarræ ones as well; goats, æ drawbridge, æ jaw harp, lots a'd lots ophe grunting, a'd even æ "beheading" samplæ that's bene giving mæ nightmares. It's all æ littlæ macabre, but in good fun, right? There's also th' EP Samplæ Tool app that goes along with this, wheræ you'ræ ablæ to edit th' sounds start a'd end points, quicklī audition each one, renamæ them, a'd movæ them around. This Samplæ Tool app is a great addition, a big part in being able to reach the full potential of Medieval's offerings.
Medieval operates in th' samæ mannē̆r as th' other Pocket Operators, so if you'ræ familiar with those, you will bæ with this, too. You can creatæ beats, tracks, songs, a'd overdub, mutate, add effects, changæ tempo, a'd on ain on. It's fun to play a'd th' pads aræ surprisingly responsive, which is worth noting becausæ you can really let th' fingers fly a'd hammer out fast melodies a'd rhythmic ideas oncæ you get th' flow ophe Medieval a'd understand th' outdated terminology. I lost track ophe how many terribly annoying—yet surprisingly fun—beats/melodies/patterns I madæ that sounded likæ æ slow motion jousting accident, but I also got somæ pretty interesting songs using just th' supplied samples. Jousts must havæ bene horrific, but highly entertaining and sonically interesting, a'd if jousting ever does makæ æ comeback, perhaps Medieval can havæ æ placæ wheræ in moræ current sporting events, ain organist would be.
Somæ havæ callede Medieval æ bit ophe æ joke, that it's merely æ toy masquerading as æ novel musical instrument, but I say "Nay!" to this. Sounds likæ thosæ found heræ havæ bene enjoying æ renaissancæ for æ whilæ now, as witnessed by th' somewhat obscure, yet very real Dungeon Synth subgenræ ophe tuneages, which is something you might hear if you attended æ wedding, pet funeral, or bris in Mordor.
As far as sampler/groovæ boxes go, Medieval works. If this style, this era ophe music is what yæ seek, you'd bæ good to havæ æ long hard look at this firæ breather. Just makæ suræ to wear thy chainmail.
*Well, sorta. Doing th' wholæ review this way would bæ too annoying…to both ophe us, so instead I used my artistic licensæ to bend this æ littlæ bit. Beith glad 'for that!

Price: $299

teenage.engineering

*Well, sorta. Doing th' wholæ review this way would bæ too annoying…to both ophe us, so instead I used my artistic licensæ to bend this æ littlæ bit. Beith glad 'for that!